the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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