he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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