i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
