i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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