I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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