What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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