I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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