I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I stole a fireplace last night.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
