I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
