I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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