We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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