So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
