If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize