I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
