we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Randomize
