He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Boobs are out for the taking
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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