well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
