Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
