Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
