We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
