I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
