mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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