Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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