YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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