I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize