New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Come on in and take your pants off
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