absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
