He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize