dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just pee around me
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize