HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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