we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
50% drunk capacity currently
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
