I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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