god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just google imaged poop.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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