I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
