All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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