I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
