Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
