"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i now understand why vodka
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
