when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
