He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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