just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
