Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize