Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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