Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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