so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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