she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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