Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
