how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
