I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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