i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
