for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
