I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
