haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
