Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
