Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
