There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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