we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I need moral support for this bender
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
