took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize