im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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