I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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