Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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