I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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