Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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