I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
