I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Randomize
