take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
