Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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