i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
