So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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