All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
