what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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