6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize