as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
