If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
