When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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