The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
