I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
