So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
