Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Randomize